Surprise! FIFA’s Still Corrupt

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So the Panama Papers happened, and in a huge information leak that rounded out a whole swath of corrupt officials from various countries and organizations and who’s name do you think came up?

‘Hey Guys, the party starters are here!’

Yes, Fifa. The beloved organization that has profited hand over fist brought the world’s game to the masses has apparently been keeping some slush money tied up in Panamanian accounts. So who’s who here at this good ol’ tax-evasion off-shore money shin-dig?

Well first mention should go to Michel Platini. Platini was poised to take on the FIFA presidency after Sepp Blatter, and really was a shoe-in for the spot before the other shoe dropped and his undisclosed 2 million dollar transaction with Blatter blew up in his face. Months shy of the presidency Platini was handed a six-year ban from all footballing activity.

‘Meh, I won the Balon d’Or. I do not care.’

The party doesn’t stop there though, Eugene Figueredo, former vice-president of FIFA who was already in hot water due to allegations for wire fraud and money laundering was named as well in the reports. Switzerland was quick to give him up to the US for extradition.

Not surprising considering Figueredo had claimed he amassed his fortunes as a ‘decorative rock salesman’ during his five years in the states.

‘And the rock business was booming!’

And lastly fingered in the papers was Barcelona’s golden boy, Lionel Messi. Of course Messi, and Barcelona have come out saying that there were no illegal dealings within the Messi account, but it’s not the star’s first run in. In fact, it’s a theme on the Barcelona squad: Neymar and Mascherano have both had their tax issues*.

*They don’t pay taxes, that’s the issue.

20 footballers in all have been named and once the proper journalistic authorities sort through the massive amount of data, we’ll let you know any other notables.


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